In the ocean, I realized that we were finally moving away from Europe and would only return there on the way back, but I didn't really see it. The idea that we were going to the Caribbean, then Cuba and then straight to the Panama Canal depressed me. What about both Americas, but what about Northern Europe? The world is so big and we're trying to lick it the short cut. It often happened that I had to stay on the boat and do repairs, instead of going with everyone and exploring the area. Peter also loved being alone, and eventually realized that he was paying for my life, and we all too often travel together and then repairing the yacht together. I became more and more like a hired captain and was clearly following someone else's dream, rather than blazing my own path.

I was also very lonely. Imagine a 25 year old guy without any relationship or intimacy. When I was texting my future wife by mail, I was living two realities in my mind: one was a lonely captain traveling the world, and in the other I gave up the idea, returned home and started living like everyone else. To be honest, at that point I even started to miss the office. I discussed all these thoughts and doubts with Nikita Borisovich during my shift in the ocean, and he not only supported me, but told me something that changed everything.

“Gleb, I remember very well how poor but happy you were an instructor, and what you're doing now is great. But your purpose is to teach people and infect them with yachting. Perhaps you don't realize how much this is yours and how well you are at it. If you're ready to come back to it, I'll help you do it.”

In the Caribbean, we walked next to our Dharma's 63-foot-old older sister. “Janosha” was beautiful and very seductive, and its owner carefully married her to Pyotr Georgievich. This is where I remembered Dave and his predictions, and you may need to read the previous three posts again. I've found myself in a position where we're changing our Shipman 50 to Shipman 63 and I'm still growing as a captain in feet, or going back to Turkey to study, where I'll live in one place and have a chance at love and family.

We discussed everything with Peter, and I realized that he was ready to change the ship with the captain and continue his journey. At the same time, we discussed everything with Nikita, and he offered me an interest-free loan for the amount of a new yacht in favor of my further development as an instructor. All that remains is to dare to abandon the journey around the world and take a step back, but at the same time forward towards a new life in which everything will depend on me and all decisions will be mine.

I don't remember how long I thought about it, but I decided everything inside at the bar with Dave when he talked about the possibility of ending up on his own yacht. All I had to do was fulfill Peter's conditions and deliver the Dharma to Marmaris, where it would be put up for sale, and I would start living on my own.

📸 Dharma & Yanosha - Barbuda 2011

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